non-descript odds and ends

i've been trying to get myself blogging lately, so i'm going to type a list of little things that are going on with me. there's really nothing major to report, but i think it's good for a person to assess the events of their life and take a step back, organize, and look at the sum-total for some perspective. i'm not an organized person, so this is difficult for me.

* i feel very physically fit. moreso than any other time in my life. i'm by no means an athletic person, and i guess that's why it's a big deal to me. i still run into things like a moron and there's no cure for that, but i've got muscles too:) although my old job at mcdonald's was physically exhausting, i think it was even moreso mentally exhausting and so i was unable to do much activity beyond riding my bicycle to and from work. (which was nothing to sneeze at) nowadays, i ride my bike 1.6 miles to work but i don't ride it home. and i insist on riding it for my mental and physical state, not for transportation. my current job at the deli (while it has NO shortage of drama) is not as emotionally abusive as the old one. plus, it is really tough physical work. which is cathartic to me. i feel a definite sense of fulfillment from being utterly worn out when i go home each night after a job well done. every inch of that deli is spotless, and it's because i am one of two people who clean it every night. in addition, i'm able to walk and jog quite often on my days off and several workdays too. nothing major, but it's amazing to me to be able to do these things and not have them turn into anything compulsive or self-destructive. i have and will always have a lot of social anxieties, but i feel a lot more free when i am active and not reclusive (although i desperately feel like i need to hide under a rock most of the time.)

* i feel deeply affected by bethany's happy ending to her pregnancy. i know little about the subject of babies, though i've done a lot of curious learning on it the past couple of years. i wish i could know every little detail of her experience!

* my wesley has worked full time + since he was 16 years old (he didn't get much sleep his last years of high school). he has sleeping problems to the point that i'm sure it's a major disorder of some sort. at the beginning of this year (due to cutbacks at his job) he got to change to a 3pm to 11pm shift, so he is able to sleep several good hours during the night time, which has helped tremendously. i have begged him to cut back on the tylenol pm he takes. he has taken a large dose every single day for probably 10 years. that's bad. really REALLY bad. and of course, the alternative (not sleeping at all) was worse for most of those years. but now, i'm confident that he could sleep so i've been seriously begging him to stop taking it. he actually cut down to only one pill, which means a lot to me because in other aspects of life, he his quick to be opposed to anything i suggest just because i am the one who suggests it :p well, he has officially run out of pills. i am the one who does the shopping, usually at 11pm when i get off work and he waits outside due to his deep loathing of walmart. so he has probably entered walmart about 4 times since i started working there---all to buy his perscription since i can't buy it for him. so i have said i am not going to buy him any more tylenol pm. if he wants to go in the store and buy it, he can (though i will continue to lecture about liver disease)...but i am probably not going to buy it for him.

* WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND KHAKI PANTS TO BUY ONLINE?!?!?! i'm beyond frustrated at this. and while i wear a size long or tall, i've even looked at the regular sizes and STILL can't find any that aren't 40 dollar-ish. i don't buy things full price. sitting here, outstretched wallet, eager to buy some work pants, and can't find any. i guess it's just good timing on my part. a few months ago there were plenty but i wasn't looking to buy. mine get worn out pretty quickly, same goes for shoes as they get soaked every night.

* love the ps3 game FAT PRINCESS. very fun. really clever. also, i like wes' RPG demons souls, although i don't play it as much as he does. still not as good as elder scrolls oblivion in my book, but hopefully in a few more years there will be another elder scrolls game for me to play.

* very much wanting to buy a lot of music. listening to a lot of wilco lately ( a ghost is born), and also elliott smith. i get a good fix of the albums i don't have from pandora.com (your very own free internet radio! everyone should try it) but it just leads me to new discoveries and then i become obsessed with THOSE artist's complete discographies. example: jose gonzalez. found via my elliott smith radio station. currently in my 3 page amazon cart :p i've been meaning to listen to iron and wine for about 5 years now, and now i've gotten a taste and i'm hooked. i guess i may have to treat myself to some music instead of 40 dollar, ill-fitting pants (plus $10 shipping...grr!)