please pray for my friend.

i don't really know how to ask people to pray for someone, i barely know how to do it myself. but i have a friend who needs it.

her husband passed away this morning while she was at work (she is my coworker). he had been given 3 months to live (terminal cancer-he was about 45 years old and she is about 35), but it was a complete shock and the way it happened for her was horrible.

i am so devastated for her, and i'm still in shock. feel like i've been kicked in the gut. and i wish i had been, if it would take any small fraction of her pain away. she is with loved ones right now. i can only pray that she gets through this and can find some peace. i've been thinking today about the value of peace. please, anyone that reads this, think about peace in your life also. and tell your loved ones how much they mean to you.

why do i have so much trouble with ziploc bags?!?!?!

just wondering.

i came to the realization not long ago that i am severely deficient in my ability to "zip" ziploc bags. i don't know why. i guess i managed to avoid them for the most part until my current job (we have resealable tortillas in bags). i will stand and stare and struggle to zip a bag for what seems like 5 minutes before giving up. 9 times out of 10 i cannot do it.

i am clumsy, but i lack no more manual dexterity than the average-yet-clumsy person. and i definitely do understand the CONCEPT behind the ziplocs. certain hecklers (ahem....WES) like to suggest that i do not. i get it. i get that blue and yellow make green.

i'm carrying around a great deal of shame associated with this disability, and i'm only halfway joking. i am such a detail-oriented person that sometimes i get overwhelmed by things which are very simple to most people.

we'll just say i'm meticulous. we'll make it into something complimentary when it really isn't. when all is said and done, i cannot ziploc a ziploc bag.

healthiest versus unhealthiest restaurants

here are an interesting (and surprising) couple of articles:

america's top 10 (healthiest) chain restaurants:

http://health.msn.com/nutrition/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100235019&GT1=31036

and the 15 most unhealthy american restaurants:

http://health.msn.com/nutrition/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100235017&GT1=31036

it's shocking to read some of the calorie counts on the entrees at places like applebee's. also shocking to see that mcdonald's, taco bell, wendy's etc (who get such a bad rap!) are on the good list.

i am by no means a health nut, but eating THOUSANDS of calories in one entree or one shake or one appetizer is just plain ol' disturbing!

i'm really quite pro-fast food (like i always say, excess in moderation is a necessity for human beings) and i actually have to say i find it annoying when people blame fast food for all the evils of the world. if people are even a tiny bit as active as they should be, fast food won't hurt them.

anyway, i love food and restaurants and i thought these were interesting.....

it is national eating disorders awareness week....

this is an email i received nearly 3 years ago from the family members of someone i was hospitalized for a prolonged period of time with in 2005. i had only about 4 months of recovery at the time.



Laura ###### passed away 5/16/06‏

This is from Lar's Mom & Dad to let the folks within her e-mail address book know that she passed away from a massive heart attack this past Tuesday morning. As you know, Lar struggled with her eating disorder and it ultimately took her from us. Recently, she again lost weight and was about to give her two week notice at work, as her Mom was going to take Lar to our St. Clair farm for weight restoration this summer. Lar was looking forward to this.

We are told she did not suffer, that she was probably gone before she hit the ground. For that we are grateful.

Lar suffered enough the past six years and she is now with the Lord and at peace. Lar was committed in her faith and was not, at all afraid to die, in fact she knew and appreciated the thought of everlasting peace. She no longer is fighting the eating disorder (ED) demons.

This disease is still a mystery to many of us. I know that some of you receiving this knew Lar through this connection and to those of you that continue to fight ED, our thoughts and prayers go to you and your families. Never, ever down play the seriousness of ED. We wish each of you the best of luck, but it's not luck, but rather hard work, accountability and making the right choices to kill or control ED, and only you can do that.

Remember Lar and say a prayer for her. She was a very, very special person, friend and daughter. She will be missed, but she is in a place with eternal peace and happiness and no ED to be found. We both look forward to seeing her again some day and her beautiful smile.

Per Lar's wishes she was cremated. At this time there are no set plans for a memorial, perhaps sometime in the future.

a fun, creativity-brewing website i'm adoring.....

http://www.notmartha.org/tomake/

i just discovered this website, i was looking up baking soda cleaning ideas and one thing led to the next and......i discovered it. (not to sound disgustingly conceited/like it didn't exist before i laid eyes on it---i just mean i am happy to have found it for my own purposes:)

i haven't finished scouring it, but it seems to be quite fantastic. the crafty project "marble magnets" seems really really cool!

i feel rather luxurious....

today i somehow managed to motivate myself to do a little workout, and as i've heard others say, i feel refreshed and am trying to take a snapshot of this feeling in my mind so as to queue it when i need similar motivation.

i should clarify; 1) i have two days off in a row (rare) and i get so much exercise the rest of the time that i don't feel like a 'refreshment' sort of workout activity when i'm off work. i ride a bike 1.4 miles to AND from work most days. 2) i have unfortunately sunk into a slight hermit-esque existence lately which is a bad sign for me. i know when i cannot leave the house for fear of the outside world that i need to fix something. i went out in the 70 degrees for a little jog, which was hard for me to do but i think it helped immensely.

my friend allison came to stay with me last night as she had a conference in springfield this morning, and while i was far from entertaining, i tried not to dwell on that and just enjoy it. plus she gave me a gift of some luxurious expensive shampoo (she is a super duper hair aficionado). following my exercise i washed my hair and i feel quite fancy. :)

on a humorous note, when i first began part of the workout (i feel unworthy of using the "workout" terminology but it is MY workout which is all that matters) a month or so ago, i had interesting results. it is a butt/outer thigh workout thing. and the above mentioned bicycling gives me a heck of a lot of muscle/endurance.....so i was wanting to work on more obscure areas. so i tried the stretches on for size. i didn't do a lot of repetitions because i was just being casual about it. the next day the only thing that really hurt was my WRISTS. that's when you know you're doing something wrong. i think i've perfected the routine since then.

i have been listening to elliott smith lately, a LOT. he is my musical obsession du jour. for those who aren't familiar (which is probably most people), he died in 2003 (committed suicide). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elliott_smith
the only cd i have is figure 8. i burned it years ago for my music library and am just now appreciating it. it is wonderful. i love music that sounds light but is actually quite dark and cynical. the happy-go-lucky melody is 2-dimensional, but the lyrics and song itself are really mutifaceted and metaphoric. so i'm listening to this right now. and at the moment it oddly feels empowering i guess just because (at the moment) i'm appreciating who i am and feeling proud of myself, just as i am.

this is a blog post....

i'm vowing to post more blog entries, as i really do believe it to be cathartic and creative and fun and various other things. i really love reading others' blogs too. i'm attempting to model mine after a very encouraging friend. in order to do that, i need to blog more. about big things. about little inconsequential things. about random daily things. about whatever. i think this will be a good outlet for me.

at the same time, i am currently trudging through a very mundane phase in my mind and life and work etc. (mundane yet strangely not at all peaceful)...i think i'm perhaps burnt out? not sure. but whatever the issue (the cause is definitely my work situation which i fear is very toxic to me and my job search), i'm not very thoughtful lately. so i'm going to do this blog thing, and i'm posting this one to get the ball rolling i suppose. the more i think of this as a journal entry the better it will be for me (and the more entertaining it will be for others who may glance at it on occasion.)

i'm a chronically analytical person so it shouldn't be that hard, right? unless i think too much about writing a blog entry and analyze THAT too much. which is probably what has stalled me thus far.

anyhoo. for now, this is officially a blog post....................